There are many like it, but this one is mine... No, really - there are many like it and they're actually all mine. My constant need for change is a puzzling one and I hope to pluck the festering root of this annoying hair-up-my-arse that keeps me unsatisfied with the norm. It's been there since childhood when I would change my bedroom around once a month. Something about having the bed in a different spot made me smile - at least for 30 days.
I have lost myself more deeply than ever before in the past year and the number of constructive activities in my repertoire is slim to none as of late. I miss my family and my friends, but mostly I miss myself. I've found a great church and a great job and if I can befriend this odd concept called Consistency, my life could start to drastically improve. Where do I keep leaving him, damn it?
SO! I'm going to try to get back to drawing and writing and crocheting and taking my kids out. Sometimes the journey to reconstruction seems so daunting, it's hard to take that first step, but I can do it. My hardest feat does not include any of the fore-mentioned, but rather taking on these challenges with a positive demeanor. Pessimism runs in my family and sarcasm is a close second in our traits. I plan to hold on to a portion of it that maintains realism and humor when fitting, but hoping to smile more and dump the rest.
I have to... I don't have a choice - 3 more years and my AJ is gone. 5 more years after, my baby girl will go... I'm wasting time...
On a brighter note, I discovered that the Publix here carries itty bitty cartons of QUAIL EGGS. They are small and speckled and expensive. I want them, but not necessarily for eating. I just want to have them because they're miniature. Unfortunately, even the smallest of eggs will rot and no longer be as cute. Doh! Bacteria ruins everything!!!
